At the dawn of the modern age, the ancients pondered a fearsome question: “How many angels could fit on the head of a pin?” While the New World awaited a conclusive answer, little did they know, there was but one occupying that space, and he is known as: Manuel Domingo Vallejo [vuh-ley-hoh], immortal, Spanish, reformer, and property extraordinaire.
It should be said, that before the great historical reforms of Manuel Domingo Vallejo, the bacterial world was in chaos. Infrastructure, being as poor as the electrical and plumbing sectors, precipitated a rise in domestic disputes, and disorderly behavior. Suicide increased 120% per cycle, and atomic particle laundering had reached astronomical proportions, starving countless civilizations of the daily energy needed to survive. With a surge in unemployment, the dust rustlers soon came, rudely lead by a gang of renegade viruses. They robbed the land of the precious creatures sorely need for society’s intrinsic survival. As corruption leaked in at every level, no amount of mob justice could quell the chaos. It was reported that by 1676, levels of rust and ion disintegration had reached an incredible sixty percent!
By the early 1500’s The Skin Traders, early entrepreneurs and philanthropists, had long passed into legend. Harvey Bonschkoff, Microbiologist and NetCom enthusiast suggests that, “At this time, the Skin Traders may have moved on to places of higher economic opportunity. Some manuscripts report trader dwellings near Fingernail Underbellys, and in particular, largely in proximity to a kind of Belly Button known as the flabious monstruosite. ”
A number of productive revolutions took place before the Vallejo reforms of 1683, the most famous being the atomic uprising of 1678, which pricked even the ear of the almighty. Across needle, thread, and bobbin, unity was found in a call for divine intervention, and a general overthrow of the totalitarian splinter leader, Marjika Palimino, of the ‘Marjon.’ The Marjon had enforced a kind of Marshall Law upon the people, for six decades, enslaving the entirety of the pin under its titanic grip.
On May the Twelfth, a war crimes tribunal was formed under the United Resolution Confessions Bill (URC), designed to bring Marjika to justice. Its message sparked the tumultuous battle of Palimino (May 12, 1678 – November 23, 1683), which tragically incinerated a number of appointed and pinned communities. In the end, it is believed Marjika Palimino escaped down a sink basin in france. After the Marjon Empire’s fall in 1683, the united tribunal was first introduced to Manuel Domingo Vallejo, the great reformer. At the time, he was temporary minister of defense for Pintopia, at appointment to the King.
Vallejo, inspiring the invention of the pincushion, had immediate success with early composite prototypes. By late spring 1685 Vallejo had introduced a working model of temporal ligature conglomeration (TLC), a form of government, and societal philosophy. Radical for its time, TLC brought rare unity and a surge in communications between previously alienated splinter groups. Today, NetCom (The Neo-Temporal Conglomeration Movement) pioneered by Vallejo himself, continues to bring incredible prosperity to the pinhead world.
NetCom persistently surprises us all. Last year, a dust-farming boom signaled the return of the elusive skin traders, sparking a skin rush in proportions never seen before. The rush promises to bring atomic particle levels into the Trillions, and is encouraging new inventions, taking the world of bacteria to new frontiers in time, and space. Reports show a rise in anti-bacterial protection studies, seven cycle particle drilling, and a replicator designed to extend good bacterial life by up to ten cycles.
Today Manuel Vallejo, having delegated much of his earlier reformation responsibilities, mainly oversees the property sector of NetCom, ensuring the fair distribution of land, and residency. Following Vallejo’s Pinhead accomplishments, he has now become the conglomerate representative to the entire bacterial world, inspiring other communities such as the Earbuds, Toothpicks, and needles to adopt his NetCom & TLC models.
Is Manuel Domingo Vallejo, an immortal angel sent from God Almighty himself? Whoever he is, he is honoured today, along with the billions lost at the battle of Palimino. This day, the Twelfth of May, take some time to pray for a NetCom community near you. Next time you have a splinter, remember the micro community that thrives beneath your fingertips, and take a moment to salute it’s great protector, Manuel Domingo Vallejo.
– Iain Sutherland/The Ink Jester.
—Prompt: – Place: On the head of a pin – Character: A real estate agent (Twist: Is an Immortal) – Mood: Silly
 Harvey Bonschkoff, The Micro Conglomerate: A Guide to Microscopic Civilizations (London: Harvard University Press, 2005), page 154.